Ever since I can remember, I’ve been the energizer bunny. I am always busy and always running from one thing to the next. I thrive on adrenaline. Downtime doesn’t come often enough for me and half the time I plan on relaxing, I find chores or other activities to fill that free time instead. This is all fine and dandy, except now I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I can’t slow down.
In high school, I worked part time, volunteered, attended school full time, and ran/participated in several after school activities. This continued through college. Add to that a robust social life and a lack of sleep. I only had a mental breakdown every 3-6 months. Yet, each time I completely lost it and broke down mentally or physically, I just picked myself up again and got back up to my normal speed.
Over the years, I’ve invested time and money in small versions of self care like gym memberships, massages, time at the spa, vacation, etc. I even very much enjoy my pjs and Netflix most evenings. These are great in the moment, but half the time my mind is still working on overdrive while my body is trying to relax.
The past 8 months of pregnancy, I’ve continued this trend. I have barely slowed down at all. I still said yes to every task from my boss, still attended every event and special occasion, and still pushed through long days of chores even when my feet ached with pain and my mind and body begged me to sit down and relax.
I’m due in a little over 4 weeks and my calendar is packed right up until the due date. I’m so exhausted though! I have zero stamina, yet I’m just torturing myself and pushing through the pain and exhaustion. I feel guilty for putting stress on my son, but I literally do not know how to relax and slowdown. Any tips? How do I train my brain to just let go of these tasks and chores, and stop moving at the speed of lightning?
I don’t want to harm myself or my baby, but I find it impossible to rest. Help me!!!