I wrote a post two months back about being stressed about getting engaged and having to plan a wedding. I have a tendency towards stress and anxiety. I even started seeing someone to talk to, while working through this process. I overthink a lot of things and I get overwhelmed easily by these thoughts. I feel the weight of my worries heavily and can’t breathe under all of it. As a result, I’ve had to develop coping mechanisms to survive.
One of my coping mechanisms is to not procrastinate. Instead of sitting around thinking about all of the things I need to do and feeling overwhelmed by them all, I make to-do lists and I complete those tasks as soon as I’m able. When it came to getting married, I started thinking about all the details. A venue. Catering. Cake. Flowers. A dress. Shoes. Decorations. The list goes on and on. I freaked out for a total of two weeks. Then I got to work.
I may have a year until the wedding, but why wait. If we feel a false sense of security about the amount of time we have, then we will end up scrambling at the end. I would rather complete as much as I can now, so that if anything needs altering or a backup plan, I have plenty of time. Everyone we meet with has applauded us on how proactive we are being. I love checking things off the list and knowing that we can relax a little more afterwards.
Ethan is a procrastinator, but making lists helps him too. We are using the Wedding Wire app for tracking our to-dos and you can click something when it is done and it disappears. It is very satisfying. To date, we have chosen a venue, chosen a bakery, chosen our colors, found where I will get my flowers and who will arrange them, found our photographer and taken our engagement photos. And today, I bought my wedding dress and veil for only $300 total. I’ve also created our website and registry.
Still on the list is creating and sending our “Save the Dates,” finding my shoes, sending invitations, finding an officiant, booking ceremony music, and making centerpieces. That isn’t too much. We are doing great and I don’t feel stressed at all. I feel happy and I’m enjoying each step of the way.
We had an amazing time taking our engagement photos with Missy Fant, our wedding photographer, at Wachella Falls in the gorge. See below:
The most important part is to have fun! Don’t stress it! I always stress about stuff and it all works out in the end. If I had just had fun in the process, instead of stressing maybe life would be easier for me. I bring it on myself. I’m glad that I have such a great partner, that reminds me of these things. He tells me to relax and just enjoy the process. He keeps me calm. I’m so excited to spend the rest of my life with him. We are going to have so much fun together. I was nervous about my smile in the pictures, so he made sure to make me laugh each time. I felt comfortable.
Today, I was worried we would have to visit several bridal shops before I found a dress. Ethan’s step mom and I went to Adorned in Grace, a nonprofit bridal shop that is all consignment and donates $70 for every $100 spent towards stopping sex trafficking. I wanted to not spend a fortune on a dress I would only wear once and I loved that my money would go to a great cause. So, I heard about this place and was ecstatic to shop here. I wasn’t sure if someone else’s dress would work for me, but the first dress I tried on was the winner.
I tried many dresses, but in the end the first dress was my favorite. I looked good in most of them and used my mother, sister, and best friend on the East Coast for advice on each via text. They liked the fancier ones, but I want something that fits my personality and fits our outdoors wedding in the woods. The heavier ballroom dresses just don’t match. I’m so happy I found a dress that I won’t even need altered that is perfect for my personality and the venue. There was no need to stress. I am so relieved to have this part of the wedding planning done, and I had a really great time doing it.
So to all those brides out there, don’t stress! To all those out there who stress out often, be proactive, don’t get overwhelmed, just act. If you work in a timely manner and get shit done, you won’t have anything left to worry about. When I would get several assignments in school, I would just immediately start working on the ones that were due soonest and work through them right away. I didn’t wait until the night before they were due, because I knew that would be too stressful. When planning your wedding, chip away at each detail as soon as you can. Don’t leave it all to the month before the wedding. It can be a lot of fun! I’m really enjoying it all now! I said, “yes to the dress!” And my purchase donates $210 to stopping sex trafficking. I feel great! Don’t worry, you’ve got this girl!