As you probably can tell from previous posts, I’m a planner. I like to have control over outcomes and to plan everything out meticulously. I’m definitely type A. So, when the OBGYN tells me your due date is Nov. 1st, I plan on it. I set all my plans around this date to make sure I am completely prepared for his arrival. The thing is though, this is an arbitrary prediction, because as many doctors and mothers have told me you can’t plan on the baby arriving when you expect it to. Well that just doesn’t work for me!
My husband and I make a lot of plans and for the most part we keep them. We fill up our calendar and we follow it very closely. Since we found out we were having a baby, we’ve been planning for it’s arrival. We gave ourselves exactly 5 months to complete an entire renovation on our new home. We are a week out from the birth date we are planning on, and there are just a few pending projects needing to be finished. So, what do we do we look at my belly and say hey kid we need until your due date to get all of this done can you please just wait? Will he listen to his parents? Probably not!
Usually kids show up when they and your body feel ready. This could be any where from a few weeks early to a few days early to two weeks late. We can’t handle this idea though. We want to be in control. I keep telling baby, hey give me like five more days I really want to see a few more friends and complete a few more errands first. Last night, my husband and I joked about our desire to control the timeline:
“I mean we could probably pencil you in for Thursday next week, but otherwise really aren’t ready for you yet!”
“Let us just check our calendars and we will get back to you baby, we don’t want to cancel any plans on your behalf.”
“I’m too busy that day, can you wait until the next day?”
I’m due next Friday, Nov. 1st and I’ve got things planned up until Oct. 29th. I plan to also work remotely until I go into labor. I started having early labor signs though yesterday. I feel nauseous and have been having irregular, but painful contractions. Now, my husband and I are in a panic begging our baby to just give us another week. Today, I was out meeting up with friends and shopping for last minute hospital bag items, when I had a contraction waiting in the check-out line. I feel like I just walked into a Haunted House and I’m turning a dark corner wondering when the next unforeseen thing will jump out at me and scream boo. The anticipation is killing me! When is this baby gonna scream boo and decide to come? I am not good with suspense like this.
I got in the car to leave the store and I put a lot of weight into songs that play at the right moment, well what is on the radio as I get in? Gnarles Barkley’s Crazy, right at the lyric: “So you think you’re in control? Well, I think you’re crazy!” I guess I really am crazy thinking I have some magical control over when mother nature decides it is time for little one to start coming out. Don’t even get me started on how attached I am to my birthing plan.
In the beginning, I told myself I wouldn’t even bother making a birthing plan, because I knew that things never go according to plan for women so why bother. My husband thought I wasn’t the same person, because when do I ever not plan. Well, come about 35 weeks and I got very attached to my plan. I want to have a very natural birth with no drugs. I actually put on my plan refuse to give me drugs even if I ask for them. I want to use the laboring tub at the hospital and the birthing ball and use meditation and my birthing playlist. Moms are scoffing at me for thinking this plan is possible.
Planning is my safe haven. It makes me feel like I’m in control of the future and it’s outcomes. How many times has life shat on my plan and reminded me I actually have no control? More times than I can count! Is this going to be any different? I doubt it, yet I’m still attached to my plans. I do know that no matter how this baby chooses to arrive and when, I will love him to death and forget about my plan as soon as I see his little face. Until then, I’m going to probably keep fooling myself into thinking my plan will work out the way I intend it to. (I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment or I never quite learn my lesson)!