Moms, let’s talk! We need to once and for all agree to stop judging one another. It is hard enough being a mom, we don’t need to also deal with the sneers and grumbles of other moms judging us. We are all doing our best and we need to support each other.
I’ll admit that before I became a mom, I too would judge moms. I would see a mom bottle feeding her baby, and think why aren’t you breastfeeding it’s way better for your baby. I’d see a mom on her phone while her kids ran around the store being ignored, and I would roll my eyes. If I saw kids eating fast food or staring at their tablets, it bothered me.
Now, I know better. I know that the mother bottle feeding her daughter formula, probably tried her best to nurse her baby but they couldn’t latch, or she couldn’t produce enough milk or for many other reasons. We cannot judge her for her choices. She is doing her best for her child and we don’t know her story.
Maybe the mom feeding her kids McDonalds only gives them it as a treat or it is all she can afford. Maybe the woman taking a breather while her kids play on their tablets, needs a much deserved break and only lets them watch educational shows. Maybe the mom who leaves her kids in the care of an older sibling every night, has to work three jobs to pay the rent.
Maybe the Stay at Home Mom you are judging for quitting her job, was forced to by the high cost of childcare, or the working mom for leaving her kids needs that second paycheck to pay the mortgage. Maybe both of them are happy with their choices. Maybe it isn’t our place to judge another mom for doing her best to raise her kids.
I believe that as long as a parent doesn’t abuse, neglect, or starve a kid, it is their choice as to how they want to raise them. It feels like everyone believes their style of parenting is like a religion or political belief they must convince everyone else to follow in order to validate their own beliefs. We are all different though. We come from different cultures, different upbringings, different socio-economic means. So, of course we are going to prescribe to different styles of parenting.
I may not agree with everything another parent does, but unless that child is in danger, I really have no place to say something. I am just so tired of moms judging one another. We don’t know the whole story when we see each other out in the park or at the store. There is also no one size fits all style of parenting. There are millions of theories out there about what is the best way to raise our kids and it is a bit overwhelming at times to absorb all the expert advice and the advice from fellow mom friends.
Can we just agree to let our friends and strangers parent the way they see fit and stop sticking our noses up at each other? We already have enough mom guilt to begin with, the last thing we need is the glares from others around us as well. As I have said before, motherhood is sisterhood. Let us not be divided by the expectations of society. Let’s stand together as mothers, as women, as human beings in need of some extra love and support!