Here are some truths I have discovered in my 3.5 years of motherhood since the last time I wrote this after just having my first son.

Motherhood means heating up your tea or coffee at least three times a day then either forgetting it in the microwave for half the day or giving up and chugging it cold.

Motherhood means heating up or making your lunch then abruptly forgetting about it for an hour while you take the dirty towel from the kitchen to the washing machine, realize you forgot to flip a load of laundry, find dry clothes in the dryer that have been there a week, dump them on the bed and start folding them, put clothes in kids room, hear baby crying, go get baby from nap, go back to kitchen and realize you feel faint from not eating, so you reheat your lunch then remember to flip the laundry and finally after that sit down to eat with one hand and then your toddler asks for water and you never get to eat.

Motherhood means finally showering and washing your greasy hair and putting on an outfit that is presentable for outside the house, then your baby spits up in your hair and all over your outfit. Start again.

Motherhood means praying they reach the next milestone, then immediately crying that they are growing up to fast after they reach it.

Motherhood means begging your husband for a break to spend time with some girlfriends then spending the whole time with them talking about your kids and texting your husband to see how they are.

Motherhood means shedding a tear every time you pack up another box of their clothes they’ve grown out of.

Motherhood means complaining that everyone needs you all the time. Then the second they are independent feeling sad they no longer need you.

Motherhood for me means feeling guilty you’re not able to give your all as a mother or your all as an employee and feeling like you’re failing equally at both.

Motherhood means having tons of mom friends that you rarely see but have long instagram chats with that are made up solely of videos about the hardships of motherhood.

Motherhood means waiting all week for that cold glass of Rosé or warm red wine on a Friday night, then pouring it after the kids go to bed and immediately falling asleep before taking more than a sip.

Motherhood means having an ever growing list of to-dos that never get done.

Motherhood means losing all your hobbies, because you have no time for leisure time.

Motherhood for working moms means working hard to make a big paycheck then immediately paying it all to the daycare that watches your kids so you can work.

Motherhood means finally sleep training your kid to sleep in the crib then watching them on the monitor all night.

Motherhood for me means giving up your great figure to grow two baby boys.

Motherhood means preparing a delicious meal only to have your toddler refused to eat it because you cut it up into manageable bites.

Motherhood means never meeting society’s expectations of you and learning to say fuck it and live your life.

Motherhood means saying you want to spend Mother’s Day with your kids, but secretly wishing to spend the day alone doing whatever self care looks like for you.

Happy Mother’s Day Mamas! I just want you to know it is hard, it is dirty, it is very rewarding in the end and you are all beautiful and amazing! I hope you get equal parts recognition and rest this Mother’s Day!