Ever since I can remember, I’ve been the energizer bunny. I am always busy and always running from one thing to the next. I thrive on adrenaline. Downtime doesn’t come often enough for me and half the time I plan on relaxing, I find chores or other activities to fill that free time instead. This is all fine and dandy, except now I’m 35 weeks pregnant and I can’t slow down.
In high school, I worked part time, volunteered, attended school full time, and ran/participated in several after school activities. This continued through college. Add to that a robust social life and a lack of sleep. I only had a mental breakdown every 3-6 months. Yet, each time I completely lost it and broke down mentally or physically, I just picked myself up again and got back up to my normal speed.
Over the years, I’ve invested time and money in small versions of self care like gym memberships, massages, time at the spa, vacation, etc. I even very much enjoy my pjs and Netflix most evenings. These are great in the moment, but half the time my mind is still working on overdrive while my body is trying to relax.
The past 8 months of pregnancy, I’ve continued this trend. I have barely slowed down at all. I still said yes to every task from my boss, still attended every event and special occasion, and still pushed through long days of chores even when my feet ached with pain and my mind and body begged me to sit down and relax.
I’m due in a little over 4 weeks and my calendar is packed right up until the due date. I’m so exhausted though! I have zero stamina, yet I’m just torturing myself and pushing through the pain and exhaustion. I feel guilty for putting stress on my son, but I literally do not know how to relax and slowdown. Any tips? How do I train my brain to just let go of these tasks and chores, and stop moving at the speed of lightning?
I don’t want to harm myself or my baby, but I find it impossible to rest. Help me!!!
melissathewanderer 
Great self reflection here. I think you know what you have to do — start saying “no” — start eliminating the excess now, or when your little one comes, you’ll have a meltdown.
You can do this! You MUST slow down, in order to be there for the early needs of your soon-to-arrive son. In order to be there for the unbelievable wonder of holding and zoning out with him . . .
You only get one shot at this. His early days, months, years, are the foundation for the rest of his life. It’s a love affair like none else, and very rewarding :)) :)) :))
I experienced just what you’re talking about. Yet when my daughter(s) arrived, it was as if I was suddenly in a calm tidepool, rather than the main flow of Life’s River. Time stood still.
Don’t worry, the River of Life will still be there to sweep you back up when he’s older, and you’re ready to re-enter the main stream.
You might enjoy some of my posts Best to you!!!!
Dawn
https://journalofdawn.wordpress.com/
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Thank you Dawn! You’re right, I need to learn how to say No. I’ve been working on this for a long time. I usually get better once I’ve been at a job a while, but even a year into my job I’m still always saying yes. I know that when my baby is here he is top priority. I’m looking forward to just letting go of everything else and just investing my time in him. I am just scared, because I’m going back to work in February and will have to find balance between my baby and my job. I appreciate your advice! I will check out your blog. Thanks!
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You’ve got this! You are a brave, strong woman and you will rise to it all. Start the no-saying habit now. (After all, you have the perfect pregnant excuse :))
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Yes true. I told my boss I’m not doing anything in the evenings or big events within two weeks of my due date. So I have the next two weeks to attend stuff then I’m taking a break leading up to the arrival of my baby.
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Hurray!
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